This one’s from Fort, Mumbai. (The area formerly known as the Kala Killa, I believe). The same fort had four gates and Churchgate is a hangover from that. Today, Fort is teeming with small shops selling electronics, dildos (yes!), “watche’s” (which must be the code name for the Isprit, ESPRET, SPRIT, Ralex and other fine variations I see there) and more for buy and sale 
err, cos I’m a new vegetarian? I knew a vegetarian? I’m not sure, either. What do you think it’s supposed to mean?I spotted this flapping in the breeze on 31st road, Bandra, out of the corner of my eye. I kept walking and I guess somewhere in my head, I was trying hard to process it and figure out what it really said. Then I just had to go back and check it. The seller was more than happy to let me take a photo 
If you want one of these, let me know. I’ll take orders in S, M, L and XL
Let me tell you while you figure exactly what that is in the photo, this dish did not look ANYTHING like the descriptors on the menu. 
And I will confess, after we photographed the gook and worked up the courage to taste it, it was totally divine. So I started to think up disclaimers to add to the menu: “close your eyes when I arrive;” “Disgusting looking, but delicious!” “Always remember: the proof of the pudding is in the tasting!” Which in turn reminded me of the ad campaigns Dudley Moore’s character came up with in “Crazy People“. Did I mention this was dessert? Ok, so here goes: served with salad and chocolate ice cream, this is actually flambéed bananas in a rum-cream. And the quote in the title is from Dudley’s ad about Volvos.
Ah, finally a club where you AND your hazmat can party together.Well, as long as your patrong is not toxicated and you’re not on Megal This is “27″ in Ho Chi Minh City, or actually Nua Hang 27. But most clubs, I was told, are just referred to by their address number so voila! 27. Click on the photo for a larger, clearer image of the sign.
Fish massage (or “FiMassaa” in the patois spoken by the guys trying to tempt you into getting one) is quite a popular thing for tourists to try in South East Asia. In Cambodia, at the night market, we were accosted by a FiMassa guy. Sure enough, there was a white dude sitting on the lip of this inflatable swimming pool with tiny fish nibbling away at his feet. He merely smiled, albeit wryly, in response to my inquiring look. This poster almost made me sign up for a 5 minute session But then I guess I still ‘felt confused matter of me’ even after dinner so I didn’t.
Think I could have gotten the daily tour (good use of space, no?) for less if I’d gotten Dr. Fish at my heels?
Click the image for a larger, clearer picture.
Once in a while, I come across a sign that just baffles me. I think we should run a little contest here for an alternate caption and/or a subtitle to farther edify the folks who wonder she has what??
Did they really mean “she and his“? But that still doesn’t make any sense. This one’s in Goregaon. The other one in Lower Parel I like is a mobile watch repair shop & hair saloon (sorry, sailoon) in one. I suppose whether your phone is broken or you need a trim, you can use your time efficiently getting a twofer instead of loitering.
This beauty caught my eye in Colaba. At first glance, of course, I figured it was cosmetics, hair clips, the usual fare. But someone out there is more confused than I am Signs like these aren’t rare. But since I have really nothing more to add … I’ll let the picture tell the rest of the story.
Long gone are the days when posters and billboards were painted by a human being, lovingly and sometimes with hilarious results. But some of us can’t help deface the photographic posters that adhere to every single surface, I guess. I found this ‘improved’ Titan ad featuring an even more ruffianesque Aamir Khan utterly brilliant. I wanted to juxtapose the original but, alas, was unsuccessful in finding the image online. If you spot the original, in Delhi or anywhere, do email me a photo!
Incidentally, I’m far from being the only person documenting this. Check out the poster-art by the very funny, very talented Annu Palakunnathu Matthew (whom I interviewed for the now-defunct Masala magazine eons ago).
As pretty much anyone who will listen long enough to hear me complain knows by now, I fell down the stairs last week and got pretty severe whiplash. I finally succumbed and got myself a stupid neck brace (also called a ‘collar’) (Please. I’ve already heard all the jokes) and, to my chagrin, it does help support my neck and prevent extra strain.
The brand of my brace is “MGRM.” In cursive, the acronym is spelled out below the trademarked logo: “May God Rehabilitate Mankind“. I was rather hoping the manufacturers of the brace would step in there, honestly…
This was taken in Goa — right near the NON-path through god knows who’s backyards to Curly’s at South Anjuna. So much for beating around the bush, this is precisely where our cab driver chucked us out, threw his car into reverse and left us standing in the dark.
The sign I wish I had been able to take a picture of, however, was better. It said, in big red letters on white, “PLEASE. YOU THINK POSITIVE” (yes, really!)
I was on my way to the airport, pretty sure I’d miss my flight, so we didn’t stop. 
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